Finding Something
by theladymerlin
Summary: Spike may have finally found what he was looking for
1. Chapter 1

Spike lay on the hard stone where the boy and the watcher had tried to make him if not comfortable, at the very least, not in too much pain. That was a joke. He still couldn't believe he was alive, undead, whatever. After the things Glory had done to him it was a wonder he hadn't opened his mouth and spouted every last bit of information he had on her blasted key and anything else that came to mind. Just as an added bonus. Spike had to admit the look on her face when she discovered she couldn't suck his brains out through his skull was almost worth the agony of her hand gouging out a great bloody chunk of his chest. He cut off the chuckle that formed when it caused the ends of his ribs to grate unpleasantly together. Fuck that hurt. The pain and the wet sucking sounds which went with it, made him suspect that his lung left had been punctured, maybe both. He slowly slid up an arm to wrap around his middle causally observing his bruised and twisted fingers as if they belonged to someone else. His body wanted to drift off into a healing torpor but he knew there wasn't enough blood in his system to allow it. He was starting to wonder if this was actually it. If he was going to die, alone, lying here in this filthy excuse for a home.

He heard the distinct sound of his door scraping across the rough stone floor as it opened. He gingerly turned his head being careful not to jar anything and cause himself even more pain. It almost worked. He didn't feel any pain but his head swam and his vision blurred. He watched as a large shape which vaguely resembled Xander crossed the room. The boy was carrying something large in his arms. He set whatever it was out of Spike's line of sight and crouched down.

"Hey Spike."

Oh. That was better. Spike could see Xander's face now. Was that concern he saw? He scowled and opened his mouth to tell Xander to fuck off. The soft hazel eyes were his undoing. He closed his mouth without saying anything, closed his eyes and turned away. Spike listened to the noises the boy was making and he willed away tears of self pity. He was concentrating so hard the damp, soft cloth came as a surprise.

Spike turned back and opened his eyes. Xander smiled and ran the soft cloth very gently over the skin of Spike's forehead. Xander leaned down to rinse the cloth and came back up. He paused with the cloth in his hand when he saw the puzzled look on Spike's face.

He shrugged and cleaned the blood off one bruised cheek. "I just thought you'd feel better if you were clean." Another pause and Spike heard more splashing. "Well cleaner."

Spike carefully moved his head slightly up and back down. He tried to relax and Xander tried not to hurt him too much. It seemed like a fair trade.

Spike must have dozed off because the next thing he knew, he was being carefully rearranged on a fluffy pillow and covered with a lovely silky soft blanket.

"Sorry," Xander said. "Didn't mean to wake you." Xander's face took on a pinched, troubled look. "I didn't hurt you, did I?"

Spike managed the small breath he needed to speak. "No," he whispered.

"Good," Xander replied. He gave Spike's shoulder a gentle pat before kneeling to rifle through his magic box of wonders. He came back up with a silver flask. He twisted off the cover, poured out some of the contents and held the cup to Spike's lips.

Spike could smell the blood but was surprised when he tasted it and realised it was human. Xander shrugged again. "Glory really did a number on you. Thought you could use the good stuff for a change."

Spike accepted the explanation and gulped down the rest of the blood. Xander poured and Spike drank. By the time they reached the final drops, Spike was feeling pleasantly full and drowsy. He could feel the healing starting and knew it wouldn't be long before he drifted off into a true healing sleep. He struggled to stay awake for a few minutes longer.

"Thank you." It was still only a whisper but Spike's voice had regained some of its strength.

Xander leaned forward and surprised Spike by caressing his cheek. "Least I could do. You did good Spike." Xander closed the last few inches between them and placed a light, sweet kiss to Spike's lips. "Sleep. I'll stay for a bit."

Spike closed his eyes, his lips still tingling. Bloody hell. What was that? He remembered Buffy's kiss from a few hours before Xander arrived. It didn't even come close to the way Xander's kiss had made him feel. Spike knew he never really had a chance with Buffy but that truth didn't hurt as much as he'd thought it would. Spike drifted off knowing he was safe and wondering if he'd finally found what he'd been looking for after all. He was glad Xander was staying. He and the boy were going to have a lot to talk about when he woke up.


	2. Chapter 2

Xander sat on the floor, his back resting against the cool, rough stone sarcophagus on which Spike slept. Xander had kept his promise to the vampire and had stayed camped out on the floor of the crypt, comic book in hand and an open bag of Cheetos leaning against his thigh right near his can of coke. The light filtering through the decorative windows was murky due to the amount of grime covering the glass but Xander was managing along just fine. Almost comfy in fact. He'd remembered to bring along his own pillow, which currently resided under his ass, along with the one he'd brought for Spike.

He set aside his comic and stretched before reaching for his drink. He looked around the slowly darkening crypt and wondered how long Spike's healing sleep would last. He didn't mind staying but he also wasn't planning on moving in here for days either. He'd wanted to move Spike to some place more comfortable like...well like his own apartment. But he knew there was no way he could manage to move the injured vampire all on his own and he wasn't about to ask Buffy for help. Or anyone else for that matter. He didn't want to answer a whole lot of questions. Bad enough, Spike was probably going to be asking a lot of those very same questions himself when he woke up.

And judging from the noises coming from behind him? He was going to be answering those questions any time now. He set his can of coke aside and stood to face the music.

Spike was peering groggily around in the darkness but stopped when he spotted Xander standing guiltily beside his resting place.

Xander tried on a small smile which felt far too forced to be anything but fake. "Hey Spike. Feeling better?"

Spike squinted back. "Thought I'd dreamt you."

Xander shuffled his feet and tried to think of something witty to say. "Do you do that often? Dream of me?" WTF? Oh yeah. That was real smooth. Sometimes he really wished he could find the disengage switch for his mouth.

"You kissed me," Spike accused, complete with pointing finger.

Yep. That switch would come in real handy. Any time now. When he'd decided he wanted this, he'd also decided to be honest. Course he'd thought it would be in a few days. He steeled himself as best he could and met Spike's challenging gaze. "I did," he admitted.

Spike pushed up on his elbows. He looked confused. "And Demon girl?"

"Anya left," Xander explained easily, the hurt of a lost love already faded. Discovering Anya made a far better friend had helped immensely. "What Glory did to you and Tara really freaked her out. She said it made her question what she wanted out of her life. She didn't want to waste it." He didn't add how much it had caused him to question his own life and what he wanted.

"So what? You just move right on to the next available demon? You've suddenly got the hots for yours truly? Somehow I don't believe that and I don't fancy being some kind of consolation prize."

"No, I didn't just move right on. You're right there. Anya was ...special and wonderful. But I didn't love her. Not really. We kinda fell into a relationship together. It was comfortable and easy. When she told me she was leaving I tried to talk her out of it. I told her I loved her and wanted to marry her. She called me on my bullshit and told me to be a man and go after what I really wanted."

"And I'm supposed to believe that's me?" Spike snapped. "Didn't just crawl outta the grave."

Xander could totally understand why Spike would question his honesty. He had no idea how to convince the vampire he was telling the truth, so he didn't bother. Now it was time to put Anya's words of wisdom to the test. "Believe what you want," he said with a shrug before stooping to gather his belongings. "I'm going back to my apartment." Xander stood back up with the large box in his arms. Spike was sitting on the blanket and the pillow still held the indent where the vampire's head had rested. Xander didn't bother to collect them. "You are welcome to come with me or you can stay here," he offered, inflecting as much sincerity into his voice as he could. "Choice is yours."

"You serious?"

"As serious as a watcher researching the latest apocalypse."

Spike nodded and slid carefully from his perch. "All right then."

Xander could hardly believe it. Anya had been right after all. He so owed her one. "You're coming?" He saw Spike's eyebrows start to rise and replayed what he'd just said in his head. He blushed hotly and nearly dropped the box in his arms. "No! Not what I meant."

Spike shuffled slowly closer. "I'm disappointed, pet."

Xander stared at Spike's pouting lower lip and wondered how the hell Spike could make beaten to a pulp look so damn sexy. He felt a stirring in his crotch and was glad he'd decided to forgo the tight jeans as a totally useless attempt at seduction. He blushed again, spun and headed for the door. He kept his pace slow so Spike could keep up. Not having to actually look the vampire in the eye bolstered his courage and he couldn't resist throwing a cheeky, flirty comment over his shoulder. "You won't be later."

He could hear Spike's laughter behind him. "Is that a promise?"

"Two words, Spike," Xander said, feeling more confident. He slid one hand out from under the box and held two fingers triumphantly in the air. "Viking and sack, my fanged friend. Viking and sack."

~ Mòran taing ~


End file.
